They think it’s all over, it is now. Keir Starmer bade farewell to his political career in an emotional PMQs on Wednesday and there was barely a dry eye in the house.
Rachel Reeves was in tears – she has previous form for turning on the waterworks – as were a number of Labour backbenchers. Carolyn Harris was so upset she could barely speak when asking Sir Keir his final ever question as Prime Minister. His successor, Andy Burnham, wisely stayed away, presumably so his mascara didn’t run if he welled up.
As is now tradition, the final PMQs of an outgoing premier is somewhat a convivial affair. And so it was this time around, especially with the crunch World Cup clash between England and Argentina firmly on everyone’s minds. Prime Ministers typically list their engagements before they answer questions at the despatch box.
But in a departure from his weekly statement, Sir Keir told MPs: “In addition to my duties in this House, I have an important appointment with the television at eight o’clock this evening.” Even Kemi Badenoch, so often Sir Keir’s tormenter, got in on the act when referring to former Labour Prime Minister Harold Wilson, who was in charge when England won the World Cup in 1966.
“No doubt he will be disappointed that he won’t be emulating his hero Harold Wilson in winning multiple elections,” the Conservative leader told the Commons. “However, we all hope that he may be about to emulate him in another way, by being the Prime Minister when England win the World Cup.”
And so the football theme continued, much to the delight of footy fanatic Sir Keir. Reform UK deputy leader Richard Tice said England’s footballing record under Sir Keir is “the greatest, most successful record of any prime minister in history” with the Three Lions winning 76% of their matches.
Statto Starmer responded that he hoped there would be two more wins before he leaves office on Monday, taking England’s record to 24 victories out of 31 under his tenure. But it was also an incredibly emotional PMQs, the first since the tragic murder of former Tory MP Ann Widdecombe.
Sir Keir paid tribute, while sadly pointing out that she was the third MP or ex-MP to have been killed in the 11 years since he entered parliament. Mrs Badenoch also spoke movingly of Ms Widdecombe, who joined Nigel Farage’s Brexit Party and Reform later in her career.
But attentions inevitably turned to the outgoing PM. As his wife Lady Starmer and their two children watched from the Commons’ gallery, Sir Keir said he believed he had achieved a lot.
He took a thinly-veiled swipe at his predecessor Jeremy Corbyn, saying that he had eradicated anti-semitism from the Labour party and had delivered a thumping election victory following an historic defeat.
The biggest cheer of the session came when Sir Keir responded to a question from Reform MP, Danny Kruger, who defected from the Conservatives. He castigated Labour, and other mainstream parties, for not putting up a candidate in the Clacton by-election, which is effectively a battle between Nigel Farage and Count Binface.
Starmer replied to hollers and cheers: “I know that Reform believes in recycling politicians.” Watching proceedings high up in the packed press gallery was Game of Thrones actress Maisie Williams. The epic fantasy TV show is one of betrayal, sexual encounters and the fight for power, rather similar to British politics.
After signing off with sentimental words about his family Sir Keir was given a standing ovation and round of applause by Labour MPs as he left the Chamber.
Those same MPs who betrayed him to get Burnham into power. The King is dead, long live the King (of the North).