The voters of Makerfield might still have something to say about that. If Nigel Farage’s Reform UK were to win instead, it would send shockwaves through Westminster. Labour MPs would rather not think about that. The idea of being lumbered with Keir Starmer for another three years strikes them stiff with fear. Besides, it’s always exciting when a new boss is on the way. They’ll be handing out prizes to loyal followers, and MPs are clamouring for their share.
If Burnham replaces Starmer, we can expect a major cabinet reshuffle. While he hasn’t made his mind up yet – and even if he had, he’d probably change it tomorrow – some big names are already in the frame. Controversial names too. In fact, it’s beginning to look like a Labour Party rogue’s gallery. Perhaps the most controversial is Ed Miliband, who’s already gone rogue as energy secretary under Starmer. He’s desperate to become chancellor, where he could cement his grip on Labour and test his net zero ideology to destruction.
Ed doesn’t believe he’s inflicted enough damage on the UK yet. We still have some industry left, although not much. Miliband is keen to finish the job. He also wants to make sure we never drill for North Sea oil and gas again. He’d rather put our energy security in China’s hands while buying jet fuel and diesel from Vladimir Putin. I dread to think what damage he’d inflict if he took charge of the entire economy. Increasingly, Burnham seems to dread it too.
Miliband is the ultimate loose cannon. Burnham fears he’d sink his premiership by blowing up the economy and refusing to be reined in. Unlike Burnham, Miliband doesn’t do U-turns. Once installed, Burnham won’t have the strength to stop him. Just like Starmer couldn’t. Miliband isn’t the only troublemaker Burnham has to accommodate. He’ll also need to find room for Angela Rayner, who brings controversies of her own.
She’s determined to wreak revenge because Starmer forced her to resign. But it wasn’t the PM who cocked up her tax return. That was Rayner. HMRC went suspiciously soft on her, but some of the mud will stick. Like Miliband, she’s no slouch on policy. She pushed through her Employment Rights Bill despite repeated warnings that it will destroy jobs and harm the very people it’s supposed to help. And she’ll keep pushing Labour further to the left once back in the cabinet.
Burnham won’t be able to stand his ground. He isn’t exactly an immovable object. We don’t know what job he’ll give her, but it will have to be a big one. Red Ange expects.
Burnham will also have to accommodate another backer, former Transport Secretary Louise Haigh. She was forced to resign under Starmer after making a fraudulent claim that her mobile phone had been stolen. Like Rayner, she seemed angrier at the PM than herself. Incredibly, Labour MPs see her as some kind of economic guru, although that’s easy enough. Just mutter the magic words “More tax” and you’re halfway there. The other half is “More spending.”
Bringing Rayner and Haigh back from disgrace won’t be a good look, but Burnham has no choice. His cabinet will soon look more like the rehabilitation wing of the Labour Party. With this gang of rogue operators bossing the country, we’ll be begging for Starmer to come back. Although thinking about his freeloading and lust for freebies, the PM merits his place in the gallery too.