Three quarters have kept how they were feeling to themselves (Image: Getty)
Parents feel most lonely five months after having a baby – when the reality of having a newborn kicks in and friends and family are less available.
A poll of 1,000 parents with a child aged under five found more than half have experienced loneliness since having their baby. Despite the first few months being filled with excitement and adrenaline, as well as visits from family and friends, when this starts to die down and many new parents start to feel a sense of loneliness.
More than half of mums (56%) and nearly a third (31%) of dads said they felt lonely even when they were with their baby. This loneliness was also compounded by a sense that their priorities no longer aligned with those of their friends. Worryingly, three quarters hid how they were feeling from others.
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The study was commissioned by Aldi, which has collaborated with perinatal mental health charity, PANDAS Foundation, to raise awareness of, and reduce stigma around, the wellbeing of new parents for Maternal Mental Health Week (4th –10th May).
The research found 58% would run errands – even when they didn’t need anything – just to interact with others. Supermarkets, parks and cafés were among the most common places where parents interacted with others, with nearly half (47%) feeling relieved when a stranger spoke to them.
Julie Ashfield, chief commercial officer at Aldi UK, said: “Support is often strongest in those early weeks of parenthood – but our research shows it’s the months that follow where many parents can feel most alone.
“That’s why it’s so important we keep checking in, long after the initial excitement has passed.”
Sally Bunkham, for the mental health charity, said: “Once your baby arrives, everything changes. It can feel overwhelming in ways many parents don’t expect, even during what’s meant to be one of the happiest times.
“Early interventional support is so important, making sure parents feel seen, supported, and not alone from the very beginning.”
Aldi has teamed up with PANDAS to raise awareness (Image: ALDI)
In the research, parents said they saw fewer people once their partner returned to work (61%). A quarter admitted they simply didn’t have the energy to socialise.
During this time, mums spent an average of seven hours a day alone with their baby, while dads experienced this for four hours.
Dr Caroline Boyd, clinical psychologist, author and PANDAS ambassador, said: “These findings reflect a common but often hidden experience of early parenthood – a period where loneliness can intensify as support drops away and parents are still adjusting to their new identity.
“In the context of this profound transition, feeling connected to trusted others is not a luxury but essential, particularly in a culture that places pressure on parents to cope alone.
“This is why initiatives like our partnership with Aldi are so important in raising awareness and encouraging parents to seek out spaces where they feel safe enough to share how they’re really feeling.”
The supermarket is donating £20,000 from proceeds of Mamia baby wipe sales, which have QR codes to scan for support on packs, to PANDAS Foundation during Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week.
DR BOYD’S TOP TIPS TO HELP NEW PARENTS FEEL LESS LONELY AND MORE CONNECTED:
Start small with connection
Even a brief interaction when you’re out and about – at the coffee shop, in the supermarket, on the bus. Make eye contact, smile, exchange a few words. Even a short, positive interaction – just 30 seconds – can lift your mood.
Find one space that feels safe enough
A group, a class, a walk, a local stay-and-play – spaces offering music, singing, yoga, art or nature-based activities can help you feel more connected to others. Try shifting the focus from supporting your baby’s development to enhancing your own sense of connection, even if you only stay a short while.
Give it 7 minutes
Connecting with someone new can feel awkward at first. The “7-minute rule” suggests it can take a little time before a conversation starts to flow. Give it a chance.
Be intentional with your online time
If doomscrolling is leaving you feeling worse, try shifting towards online spaces that feel more real and reciprocal – like a book club, writing group, or a forum for parents with shared experiences – where you can share, reflect, and feel part of something.
Share how you’re (really) feeling
In a culture shaped by the myth of ‘Supermum’ it can feel risky to speak honestly about how we feel. But talking helps us make sense, even when the words don’t come easily. If you can, share a little of what’s going on with someone you trust, whether it’s a friend, partner or a support service like PANDAS.